The above photograph was taken by John Kelly.
My mother. My beautiful, complicated, brilliant, sensitive, compassionate, loving mother.
She was the middle daughter of Walter and Elizabeth Paepcke. Years ago the Aspen Times wrote a profile about my mother, entitled, Their Generation: Paula Zurcher had front row seat to Aspen’s transformation.
But none of these various articles capture the impact my mother had on those she loved. My mother was a force. She was one of those women who was a beautiful blend of fierce intelligence, wit and passion.
My favorite story regarding my mother was when I was pregnant with my first child. I reached out to her asking for advice. She wrote back saying that she had given this a great deal of thought and then wrote, and I’m paraphrasing now, that the best any of us can do as parents is to love our children, tell them, yes, but more importantly show them, daily how much we love them and one day they will forgive us. Fierce, brilliant, funny, passionate, check, check, check and check. And wise. She was so very wise.
During covid my mother sent videos, articles, stories and photographs, often silly, usually funny, always interesting to help cheer her recipients of whom I was one. I often shared the things she sent me on this blog, using the title, Sh*t My Mother Sends Me. Often those posts were among the most popular and that made her, and me, happy.
In July of this year I went with my son to visit her. She was frail, but her fierceness was undiminished. When I arrived, having lost the ability to speak, she typed, “It’s been too long.” I promised her I would not allow that much time to pass again, unaware that it would be the last time I saw her. I told her about my upcoming trip to Africa that my husband and I were about to embark on mid-August to celebrate my 61st birthday. Africa held a special place for both my parents and the art and stories of their travels surrounded us when I was a child.
Richard and I left for Africa on August 13th. Shortly after, I was told she was failing. Complications related to aging and a life well lived, it became increasingly clear that she would not live much longer. I took to calling in the evening and my sister would hold the phone to her ear so that I could tell her of our African adventures. She died August 27th at 5:30am surrounded by love and her children at home, just as she wanted.
Mom, you showed me how to love and live life with courage, humor and compassion. You led by example and did exactly as you instructed me to do, so many years ago, when I sought your parenting advice. I grew up knowing I was loved. You showed and told me how much you loved me and as a result, no matter what challenges I have faced, every day was a little easier because of you.
Ariane, my heart goes out to you. I know you will take comfort in her life having been well lived and happy. A passing at home, surrounded by those we love and who dearly love us, can be no better and I am pleased for you and your mum that it was such for her.
I can fee the sadness in your words but also the fierce love and pride you have for that very special lady. Celebrate and savour your time together. Hugs C xx
Thank you Carol. ❤️
A wise beautiful woman was your mom. Never fear, she will be with you always.
Thank you Susan. ❤️
A beautiful wise woman was your mother. She will always be with you.
May the peace of a life well lived be with you.
Thank you Susan❤️
What a wonderful and loving tribute to your mother. She did well and thus, you do well.
Thank you Lynn. ❤️
I know what it feels like to lose someone you love. All I can say is to remember them every day and rejoice in their love for you. You are a strong women, as was your mother. Remember this!
Thank you Mary. ❤️
So sorry for your loss. Prayers for your families. Recently losing my dad, the loss is fresh and washes over me everyday, but we survive with the memories. She sounds like a wonderful mom and person. Prayers , Debra
Thank you Debra. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. ❤️
Beautiful Lady! You have honored her greatly. I know your grief and my heart sinks for the emptiness in yours.
Keep stitching……it is what helped my healing process when I lost my 34 year old son to brain cancer. Peace and Light, Sherry❤
Thank you Sherry. The loss of one’s child… I am so sorry. ❤️
Dearest Ariane, I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. Your mom sounds like an amazing woman, and you take right after her. She was a shining example of how to live life, obviously, because you do the same.
Its wonderful that you got to visit with her before your trip with Richard to Africa. What an amazing gift.
So many gentle hugs and love sent your way for your loss.
Martha
Thank you so much Martha. I really appreciate it. ❤️❤️❤️
Ariane, I’m so sorry. There really are no words for times like this.
I remember talking to you in February about my beloved grandmother, who had helped raise me and at the time had hoped it was wisdom I wouldn’t need to offer similar for a long time, cause honestly, I’m rubbish with this stuff.
But…
She will never leave you. You’ll never be without a piece of her, and her spot in the firmament will glow all the brighter with pride in your adventures. We all leave a mark. Some are lucky to pass their mark on and spread that beauty through those they’ve touched, and having read your post about your mom, I think that’s always going to be the case.
Love and hugs to you all.
Thank you so much Kai. I appreciate your thoughtful words and YOU. With love. ❤️❤️
What a wonderful tribute to your mom…….the apple didn’t fall far from the tree with you. . All those wonderful memories to cherish. Thinking of you and yours. ❤️
Thank you Marti. I so appreciate it. ❤️
Thank you for sharing your mother’s pictures and stories
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what a sad news I’m really sorry for you and your family.
A beautiful woman who surely had a beautiful full life.
Thinking of you❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Nadia. ❤️
Last Thursday evening I drove by the turn at Main Elk Creek on the way to Meadow Lake to spread Benson’s ashes. I thought deeply about your mom. She stayed with me in my thoughts throughout the night and when we drove back on Saturday morning I had an inexplicable yearning and wondering if she was still with us physically. When I was back in cell phone range I received her sister Toni’s (Antonia DuBrul) message that she had passed. I adored your mom. Benson and I made a trip to see her on July 10th. I too, felt it might be my last time and I cried when I drove my car away. Your mom cried too, upon meeting and then when I backed my car away. While she could not speak, Paula walked Benson and I down the windy gravel pathway, my wheels spinning precariously through the pebbles, towards the stalls. She wanted to show us Nora, the new baby filly. On the way back up the hilly gravel driveway, it was your mom who had to wait for me. It was a tough push (I was less than three months out of a major spinal surgery). My back and arms ached. We all made it home. Paula was flushed. She sipped her fluids through her straw and coughed. She had difficulty swallowing. She was indeed a force Ariane and Toni Zurcher. I loved her so much. Benson and your mommy are now in a peaceful place somewhere beyond tomorrow. My heart aches for your loss. I am sitting in my kitchen with tears streaming down my face. Your mom saw me for who I was. We had a kindred resilience in our spirits. A determination to overcome. Paula was the wisest person I have ever known. My deepest loving condolences to you Ariane, Toni, Chris, sister Antonia, and all her family. PS. Your mom turned me on to wooden Liberty puzzles. I will do one in her honor this weekend. Love you, Amanda xx
Oh Amanda. And she loved you. I’m thinking of you and am sending you love, love, love. ❤️❤️
Wonderful memories endure in your heart forever. Hold them close, write them down. Carry them forward. So very sorry. ❤
Thank you Shirley. ❤️
You were very lucky to have enjoyed her all these years.
Thank you Joyce.
Ariane what a lovely tribute to your dear mother. May you enjoy these and many other mo=emories of her for many years to come. Hold fast to the memories.
Thx so much Sandi. ❤️
Ariane- I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother. This is such a wonderful tribute to your mother! I lost my mom this past January – she was 92, same age or almost as your mom. She was a great mom & grandma – it’s been difficult. I wasn’t very creative for many months afterward but it’s gotten better. I hope you can take time for yourself to heal as I did, and do the things that help you to cope with your loss. My thoughts are with you.
Thx so much Gwen. ❤️
This is such a beautiful homage to your mother. You were truly blessed to have been able to share those last beloved travels with her. I’m glad you had that time with her in July. Precious memories. Prayers for comfort in your great loss.
Thank you so much Barbara. ❤️❤️
She is a classic beauty. Thank you for sharing her life with us. Cindy
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My deepest condolences. Such a wonderful tribute to your mom. Easy to see that the apple did not fall far from the tree. Your mom will always be a part of you. “ Love Lives On”. Please take the time to take care of yourself. ❤️
Thank you Bobbi. ❤️