So here’s the thing… I feel a whole lot better when I show up even when I feel awful, even when I feel things are rough and I’m tired, even when I don’t want to. I’ve also learned that showing up anyway is the single best remedy for not continuing to feel that way. Except that it’s also really hard to do. That’s the thing. It’s really, really hard and sometimes… sometimes it feels impossible. I know it technically isn’t, but it sure feels that way.
Marcus Aurelius wrote about pain a great deal. And in his writings about it he consistently focusses on choice and responding, rather than reacting. I’m a huge fan of Marcus Aurelius, not just because he was wise, but because this guy was one of the most powerful men in the world and yet he continued to do his best to remain humble, to avoid arrogance, to nurture self awareness and to treat others with respect and kindness.
So yeah, showing up anyway. Easier said than done, so I have found ways to do so that aren’t quite so laden, that make it a tiny bit easier. I call it setting myself up to succeed.
Here’s what I do:
- Thread up a whole bunch of needles with different types and weights of thread. I use both Chenille needles and Milliners Needles.
- Grab a needle, any needle, it doesn’t matter which one, and begin stitching. I have a couple of mindless go-to stitches that don’t require any thought. They are the meditative stitches like french knots, bullion knots, colonial knots, seed stitch, chain stitch, fly stitch, straight stitch and then I riff on them, which means I start exploring every aspect of that stitch. How many wraps can I make on a french knot before the whole thing begins to fall apart? (It turns out a lot more than you might think!). What ways can I stitch a straight stitch to create different patterns?
- Exploration
- Investigation
- And before you know it, I’m playing!
Stitching, more than anything, changes everything, even grief, even pain.
If you’re curious to know how I did this, I made a video about it and you can watch it here:
You keep at it! You are in inspiration to many!
Oh Debra, thank you. Really, thank you.
Not showing up doesn’t help anything and just puts you in a deeper hole. Showing up is hard but you’re sorry when you don’t. Stitching relaxes me and helps. It doesn’t matter if the piece never amounts to anything, it was medicinal and the value of that is huge.
That’s such a great way of thinking about it. ❤️
I hear you…totally, but remember it really is ok to take a day and cry and laugh and let all those emotions out because that helps too. I speak from experience. I lost my 34 year old son to brain cancer so I feel your grief Ariane.
Stitching is helping me get through the poopy days but it took me a year and a half to start again.
Find peace dear one.❤
Thx Sherry. I’m so sorry to hear about your son. I’m holding you in my thoughts as we stitch along together.
Losing a child is the worst thing that can happen. I do feel for you and hope memories help.
Yes, I needed this encouragement!
Thx Sandra, you’re not aline in that! ❤️
I totally agree with you on using stitching as a way to refocus on something other than the negative thoughts that can assail us for whatever reason. When I am embroidering, that becomes the whole of my” in the moment”, all other thoughts go away and I am finding joy in the act of creation. I get up very very early and can get in 3 or even 4 hours stitching before breakfast, your videos are wonderful company for me. Here in NZ, on the other side of the world I feel like I have a friend by my side as I play them.
Your message makes me happy. It’s an honor to be stitching along with you! Thank you for telling me.