This blog is a reminder of my mother. She was my biggest supporter and commented over the years more than anyone else. It was through this blog that I often kept in touch with her and towards the end it was the one full proof way I knew I could reach her, especially when my emails would go unanswered and my phone calls went to voicemail. I knew she would read whatever I was posting. Over the last few years when she could no longer speak, she would send me things that she knew I’d post here, much to everyone’s delight, because the things she sent were such fun.
Like this video:
And then there was this one that I loved:
Mostly I’m missing my mom and while I know this will ease over time, it’s still causing me to wake up many days feeling listless and kind of “blah”. I know from other periods in my life when I’ve felt down and a loss of energy that doing the things that I don’t feel like doing are the things that often make me feel better. It’s funny how that works. It’s counterintuitive, but if I can remind myself to do those things anyway, I’m halfway there.
It reminds me of when I was the Director of the Aspen Writer’s Conference and had organized to have Michael Crichton speak to kick off the conference. During his talk he was spoke of a work ethic. He was speaking of what artists, specifically writers, but it applied to anyone in the arts, often do. He said, imagine if you were an airplane pilot working for a major airline and got up in the morning and thought – you know I don’t really feel like flying today, I think I’ll sleep a few more hours. – You’d expect to be fired immediately or at the very least given a stern warning and if you tried that again, you’d be out of a job. He then went on to ask, why do artists treat their work any less seriously? If you’re a writer get up and write. If you’re a painter, paint and so on. The point was, our feelings don’t really matter when it comes to getting the work done. If we think of ourselves as an artist then put in the hours and create the art, regardless of the feelings.
With that in mind I keep showing up for the work, regardless of how I’m feeling, because I create. That’s what I do. That’s what I’ve always done. Today is no different than any other in that way. Yesterday I taped a video on this idea, and some of the things I do when I’m feeling low energy, which almost always comes hand in hand with doubt.
Here’s to having feelings and showing up anyway.
Someone very wise and wonderful said to me just last Saturday….’ feel the fear ( and doubt) but do it anyway’ when she was talking about the step I needed to take in my embroidery. It applies to so many things in life and it’s always worth having a gentle reminder of it from time to time…..lol.
Those beautiful videos…. animals never cease to bring joy and a smile. I suspect your mum knew that only too well when she sent them to you. What a lovely way for you both to connect. Thank you so much for sharing them with us. Hugs C xx
Haha! Thanks so much for the reminder Carol. ❤️ “Just keep going” is another one I mutter to myself often. I’m looking forward to seeing you Saturday!
Hugs hon.
This is a beautiful and profound post
Thinking of you Kai (someone who does the work no matter what!) ❤️
Thanks 🙂 I’m working a little bit on the really thorny stuff.
I know you are. Just emailed you as well.
Staying busy and setting goals helps me. You are doing really well.
Thank you so much Sandy. Yes, I agree, continuing to do the work is very helpful and makes me feel better, even when I initially don’t want to.
I could feel your mom’s joy and delight in the above videos!
Thx Lamona. Weren’t the dogs adorable? Love both those videos. ❤️
And her memory continues with each word you write. Each noun is her smile and each verb is her laughter. Imagine what she sends with each adverb and adjective you allow to flow from your thoughts. Her warmth and memory flow from the pen on to the paper. Hugs.
Thank you Kay. It’s a lovely thought. ❤️
How poignant you are with your writing. Thank you as always. Your words are inspired. Remember that too!
Thank you so much Cindy. ❤️