I haven’t shared anything from my mother in awhile, so I thought today was as good a day as any for a little humor. Courtesy of my mother, who received this from my brother, I think. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out the source… but regardless, the importance of punctuation.
And now that many of us are getting or have already been vaccinated, there’s this:
A throwback to the early days of the pandemic…
And a few of my own that I found while looking for other things on the internet, which makes one wonder how we manage to get anything done at all!
Not for the faint of heart…
Remember this family? Spoiler alert: It didn’t end well.
Perhaps this will be the new normal moving forward…
Before COVID hit I would begin the day by going to the gym, riding a stationary bike for 30 – 45 minutes, perhaps taking a 45 minute high intensity workout class before heading home. So when the gym closed I figured I’d landed on a “free space” meaning I’d start my exercise routine again once all of this was over. Most of us didn’t really anticipate that a year later we’d still be in that “free space”, which for someone like me was a welcome relief. Until now. Now I’m feeling increasingly guilty for counting as “exercise” walking to the elevator and getting our mail. So back in December I downloaded an exercise app because now that I’m in my sixties, exercise is less about wanting to and more about health and balance. So yes, I downloaded the app with high hopes and then promptly forgot that I’d done so. It was one of those “7 minute” workout apps. At the time, I thought – seven minutes? Who can rationalize out of doing that?!
Me. As it turns out.
This morning I decided to go see what Youtube had to say on the topic of exercise during these bizarre times, and I found this.
And then I ran across this old chestnut, which I’m pretty sure I’ve posted before, but in case I haven’t, here you go. Enjoy. I don’t know about you, but my life looks an awful lot like it did when we were in lockdown. I rarely leave the house. I’m more paranoid about catching COVID now than I was at the height of the pandemic. And now a variant, that they are saying may be resistant to the vaccines, has hit New York City and so I’m completely freaking out. Dancing around the house to music videos is as good as my current exercise routine is going to get. Still, I hold out hope that at some point I’ll take it all more seriously. Maybe I’ll try one of those 7 minute exercise workouts after I finish writing this. Or not.
I’m pleased to report, however, that my hands and fingers are as nimble and dexterous as ever, thanks to my daily hand stitching, um… workouts!
Later today, at 2pm (EST) my Threaded Backstitch and Double Threaded Backstitch Youtube video is premiering, so join me and we can chat as it plays! Remember, it won’t be available to play until 2pm today. And in the meantime maybe I’ll work in some squats and push ups. I’m not making any promises though.
Most of us, here in the United States, are hoping the next day and a half will go by quietly and without violence. In addition, since most of us are not yet vaccinated, and the variant has hit the US, with death tolls from COVID at an all time high, I thought the perfect remedy for free floating anxiety is a little silliness and laughter. This first clip is from a morning news show that airs in Calgary and whose anchors seem to genuinely enjoy their jobs.
And then, because I had clicked on this video, Youtube helpfully suggested the following video as another they thought I might like, which of course I had to click on, because that’s what one does…
Things devolved from there as youtube recommendations (you know the list of videos they think you might like that pop up on the right of your computer screen) began to include increasingly raunchy titles such as, “Pussy Get Out of my Pants” and other such salacious click bait. So I did what anyone would do, I went down the youtube sinkhole of clicking on recommended titles, and then had to pull myself together and redirect, as one does when heading down time wasting sinkholes. Oh but I did laugh at some of these… seriously laughed until I was crying. Even so, I’m happy to report I was successful in extricating myself and am now heading into what I hope will be an extremely productive day.
But before I go, here is one more, which made me laugh… I know, I know.
New Yorkers are a resourceful group for the most part, but we are also impatient, easily distracted, and busy. We are very, very busy. Don’t ask us what’s our hurry, you’ll be met with a bleary-eyed scowl of contempt. Don’t believe me? Ever walked down a street in mid-town Manhattan in the middle of the day? Everyone is rushing. People dart, purposefully, in and out of any who seem to have all the time in the world – aka tourists. You take your life in your hands just to walk a few blocks. At least this was the case before. Before #stayathome was a thing. Before our streets looked like this…
You can always tell the New Yorker from the rest of the pedestrians. We’re the ones who are waiting for the light to change like race horses out of the starting gate, jockeying for position, ensuring we’re the first to begin crossing seconds before the light actually changes, because that’s what we do. It’s in our blood. Even those of us who weren’t born and raised in New York City, that need to get across the street before the rest of the pack, and don’t kid yourself, it is a need; it’s part of our DNA. It’s probably what attracted us to NYC in the first place.
So telling us that we must stay home, not for weeks, but for months and months, that we mustn’t venture out unless we are in need of something essential, which might explain the run on toilet paper (for actual reasons see note below) merely an excuse to leave the house – is cruel and unusual punishment. Picture a race horse cooped up in a tiny stall for months on end and you’ll get a good idea of what it’s like for NYers. By the way, race horses are routinely given small animals to placate them, like a goat, sheep or chicken and though we’re not allowed to keep such animals in our homes here in New York City, dog walking has never seemed more enticing and exciting.
Which also explains why a trip to Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s feels like a thrilling adventure. My husband and I refer to it as a “date”. As in, “hey honey, want to go out?” And the other responds, “Absolutely, which will it be?”
“I was thinking of shaking things up!”
“Oh, really?!!”
“What do you say we head over to Gristede’s just to take a look.”
“Going downmarket, are we?”
“I can do Wholefoods, just thought it’d be fun to spread the love.”
“Absolutely! Gristede’s will be fun!”
And off we go, hand in hand, reveling in our courage and sheer inventiveness to try new things, still, after so many decades of marriage.
This is what the lockdown has done to us. We are a changed group. New Yorkers, known for their edginess are becoming downright pedestrian. We wear sweatpants and wander around in slippers, our hair unbrushed, sometimes for days. When we venture out we stroll, no longer needing to rush, we stop in the middle of the street to take photographs of flowers and our city, now unrecognizable. We smile at each other, even stop to chat with complete strangers. We even wave to our neighbors. People we’ve never exchanged two words with, we now know their names and the names of their children and pets. We know intimate details about each other, such as whether we tested positive for antibodies. I’m telling you, it’s a changed world…
*Fun Fact: I did a little research and learned that one of the main reasons there continues to be a run on TP is due to the fact that everyone is now at home and not going into their offices, which stock an inferior type of TP, versus the coveted TP most of us prefer. Evidently the machines producing the inferior, industrial brand TP are different from the machines churning out the more luxurious, cushiony and soft TP we use at home and therefore the production is not able to keep up with demand. For those of you wanting to know more – https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2020/04/08/coronavirus-shortage-where-has-all-the-toilet-paper-gone/2964143001/
On yet another night of sleeplessness I decided it was high time I found out where the whole – count sheep and fall asleep – idea originated. Which, oddly, led me to the discovery of Goats Parkour and the fact that sea otters love to eat sea urchin, which, as facts go, is kind of interesting, particularly at 3am and, anyway, who doesn’t love sea otters?
While googling – “the origins of counting sheep” I learned that this was something shepherds did before going to sleep in Medieval times, but a 12th century fable refers to counting sheep in the Middle East, suggesting this has been going on for awhile now. The article then ends with this sobering thought,
“Origins aside, the practice is an awful sleeping aid.”
Which, I have to admit, kind of took the wind out of my sails. The final sobering sentence of the piece speculated, “Maybe that’s why Don Quixote preferred goats.” Which took me to this… I know, I know…
Watching this last YouTube video made me reconsider my whole, I’ll-start-exercising-again-once-this-whole-pandemic-is-behind-us thinking and so I got up and did some exercises. All of this was done before 4am and I’d just like to interject that New York City, despite the pandemic, is busy at 4am. I know this because I see all the lights on in buildings viewed from our living room windows, but I digress and anyway, my point being that you can cram a LOT of things into the early morning hours if you’re strategic about it.
While exercising, my mind immediately leapt to otters, because that’s where the mind goes at 3:30am while exercising in a semi-dark living room in Manhattan. That’s when I discovered the first video I posted, thus ending my short-lived-newly-discovered-exercise-routine, which, okay, you really can’t call it a “routine” when you do it only once, even though your intention is to do it daily, but never mind.
So then I began designing a new project, which turned into TWO new projects, because that’s the way I think – if one is good, two will be even better and anyway it’s not even 5am – the first features an otter and some sea urchins, and the second features mandalas, because otters can only be upstaged by mandalas in my opinion, though otters AND sea urchins are a hard act to follow. Still, undaunted, I plunged onward.
I also decided that I would video tape the makings of both projects, so that I will have, not just written instructions, but videos as well. By the way if you have any interest in either project please take the poll I embedded in yesterday’s tutorial, I would love your opinion.
All of this brings me back, full circle, to sleeplessness… I have no answers, though I read that counting your breath, as opposed to sheep, can be helpful, but then, when would I find the time to get all the things I want to do, done?! That was rhetorical.
Recent comments