2020: A Year in Photographs
Happy New Year!
The Joy of Obsession
Often referred to as a negative, I’ve always thought of obsessions as a lifeline to exploration, creativity, joy and boundless energy. Being obsessed with something (rather than someone) results in any number of truly awe-inspiring things, such as these artists who carve thread spools into amazing miniature works of art.
Or Andrea Love whose website is filled with animations that she creates using felted wool.
How does one work through the fear that inevitably arises when creating if one isn’t obsessed with whatever it is you’re working on? I love creative, obsessive people (and thankfully so does my husband!)
My latest hand stitched piece began as a challenge for myself – Pick a fabric that is on top of the pile and do something with it. And so it began. The fabric that lay before me is a color I find problematic. It’s a kind of pinkish, salmon flesh tone. There’s nothing wrong with the color, it just isn’t a color that speaks to me, particularly. But I had set myself up with a challenge and so I was determined to see where it took me. That was in the beginning of November.
I began playing around, trying different threads and thread weights adding texture in the form of hand dyed cheesecloth, wrapped wooden beads, etc. At one point in a moment of desperation I took some pastels and just painted right over the fabric and the stitching. Gasp! I know. I know. Sometimes taking drastic measures is exactly what’s needed, though.
And slowly, very, very slowly it began to take shape. There were plenty of moments when I thought – well, worse case scenario I’ll just use this piece to demonstrate various things, including what to do when you don’t know what to do or how to proceed!
But I kept at it and eventually began seeing things I liked, as opposed to all the things I didn’t. And once that happened, I began to turn a corner with this piece. However were it not for the fact that I’m obsessed with hand stitching, creating and designing, there’s no way I would have stuck it out. This piece would have been put into a corner and forgotten about. I credit my obsessiveness, dogged determination and perseverance as the reason that didn’t happen.
The joy of being obsessive.
Merry Christmas!
When I was young, on December 24th we had a special Christmas eve dinner and then we would open our Christmas presents under the Christmas tree. If we were visiting my grandmother at her house in Colorado, we did the same. The only difference was that she had live candles on her tree and no one was allowed into the study where the tree was set up and that she decorated the night before, at least this is what I remember. I remember asking why we couldn’t help decorate the tree. But this is the way it was, a tradition my mother thankfully did not continue. Nearby there was a long pole with a wet sponge attached to it. This was to snuff out the candles and I’m guessing there must have been a fire extinguisher close at hand as well, but I don’t remember that.
Later, once I lived in New York City, Christmas was often a time of enormous loneliness. My father was fragile and could not have any of us home for fear we would bring home some illness that he would catch, and so for many years I spent Christmas in New York city by myself. I remember one year taking one of my roommates, who was also spending Christmas in the city that year, to a Broadway show and afterwards standing out in the freezing cold, trying to hail a cab and wondering what we would do if we couldn’t get one. It’s funny, I cannot remember the show we went to, though I think it might have been A Chorus Line, the memory that stands out is how brutally cold it was. A decade later I spent another Christmas going to the movies and afterward ordered Chinese take out. I remember there were only three other people in the movie theater and one of those three was a homeless woman who brought a cart holding her possessions with her.
And then there were the Christmas’s spent with friends and boyfriends, but it wasn’t until I had my own family that we began our own Christmas traditions, which often meant traveling with our children to be with my sister and mother in Colorado. Those were festive Christmas’s filled with lots of extended family, and friends. This year because of the pandemic we are staying put in New York City. We have a beautiful tree covered in decorations I’ve collected from all over the world and that I’ve made. Each ornament brings back memories.
I made over a hundred origami ornaments when pregnant with my first child. Obsessiveness is a companion I’ve always welcomed.
And then there was the year that I decided to make some pretty elaborate ornaments like this Santa Claus.
Another year I made felt houses.
And another year I made these little wool birds.
This can be a difficult time in the best of times, but particularly now because of the pandemic, so many are unable to be with family and friends. I am so grateful for my little family here in New York City, but it wasn’t always like this. I know many people are feeling the bittersweet sadness that can come with Christmas whether you celebrate it or not, and so to all of you, I just want to offer some love.
Wherever you are, alone or with others, I am thinking of my fellow human beings and wishing you a pleasant and peaceful Christmas. ❤️
Marriage & An Anniversary
Today is my 20th wedding anniversary to this guy.
To say that I feel lucky doesn’t begin to tell the whole story.
We met at a Christmas party on Christmas Day in 1998. Neither of us were expecting to meet the person that would completely change our lives, and yet, that’s exactly what happened. I was 38 years old and had pretty much given up on the idea of marriage, children and everything that comes with that. Ours was not a conventional story: meet, date, fall in love, get married, have children, blissfully live happily ever after.
Right from the beginning life threw boulders our way, but clamber over them we did, over and over. And, now, here we are. We have worked hard, really, really hard for the happiness and love we now enjoy together. It hasn’t been easy. In fact, there were times that were so painful we didn’t know if we’d make it through, but we did. And the one thing both of us kept doing over and over again was to show up, no matter how tough things got, we kept showing up. We were willing to work on ourselves, on our relationship, and now, more than two decades later we are enjoying that “honeymoon period” people talk about.
One of the single most important lessons I’ve learned from these last 22 years is to appreciate everything, the little things, the big things, everything. So, for example, when I wake up in the morning (being a morning person, my husband is still asleep) and go out to feed the cat and make my morning tea, I notice my husband has emptied the dishwasher. He always empties the dishwasher. It would be easy not to notice. It would be easy to dismiss this fact, just one of countless things he does to make our lives (my life) a little easier and nicer. And then I might notice how he’s taken the cat dish and put it in the sink to soak over night, so that I’m not left with an encrusted cat dish to scrub out, and while I’m at it, I might also notice my laundry that is neatly folded and sitting in a little pile for me or the garbage that he took out the day before or the mail that he brought in or the little list we keep of things we need to do or get and he’s added something to it, something we will undoubtedly get together or how he makes our bed every morning after he wakes or the card he’s written commemorating our anniversary, because he remembers and commemorates all the holidays and every event that is, in any way meaningful, or, or, or… and those are just the little things, there are big things, huge things, personal things requiring tremendous courage and hard work, stripping away layers and layers of childhood trauma, things from our past that we needed to deal with individually and together so that we could show up for each other in kind and loving ways, consistently and without hesitation.
Years ago, okay probably more like 15 years now, we saw a marriage counselor who told us to list all the things the other person had done right. It was an exercise in appreciation; simple, yet incredibly powerful. I hate to admit that I needed someone to suggest I do this, but I did. Being a critical thinker it is easy for me to see what’s wrong, harder to see all that is right. And now, we see what’s right everyday without trying or consciously reminding ourselves to do so, it just comes naturally (most days). On the days it’s more difficult, I remind myself to do so. Which isn’t to say that we never disagree or fight, we do, but we show up until the conflict is resolved or at least until there’s been some understanding that we’ve been able to reach together.
This morning we did our “reading” together, just as we always do. Each morning we read an excerpt from something and then discuss. Today’s reading was, “For it’s disgraceful for an old person, or one in sight of old age, to have only the knowledge carried in their notebooks.” Zeno
We discussed the wisdom we have gained and fought so hard for and again I was reminded of how much I appreciate this man who just 22 years ago I would soon meet. This man who has changed the trajectory of my life, in myriad ways and whom I appreciate and love more today than when we first married. Which reminds me of another quote we read recently from an anonymous person, “There isn’t enough darkness in all the world to snuff out the light of one little candle.” And as I sat next to this man that I love more than I ever imagined possible, I thought of how grateful I am to get another day with him and then I thought about how one little candle flickering in the darkness, when joined by other little candles become a beam of light.
A Little Snow in NYC
Any little bit of snow is exciting news here in New York City where we used to get several big blizzards a year, but now, not so much. So in anticipation I went out for an early morning stroll and had such a lovely walk. I made a video of my morning outing and just posted it on my YouTube Channel: Ariane Zurcher ~ On the Other Hand.
As often happens when I’m video taping while exploring New York City, I ended up reminiscing about when I was a Parsons School of Design student, a roommate who used to keep a pair of cross-country skis in her apartment and would ski down Fifth Avenue when a good storm ripped through the city. I remembered a trip my husband and I took to Iceland, and three days into it, I fell and shattered my right elbow. The photo below was after I’d had it stabilized, so that we could continue our trip.
As I strolled along the snowy New York City streets I decided to wander over to Madison Square Park and then found some old photos of the Victory Arch that was built just to the north of 23rd Street and the Flatiron building. The arch, celebrating the end of the first World War, was subsequently torn down.
A few photos of my walk, but if you want to see more and hear about my various adventures, watch the Youtube video I just posted.
These days we hardly get any snow at all, so this storm was greeted with a lot of eagerness and excitement, by young and old. The two photographs below are from a snow storm we had in February, 2009.
Have a great day everyone!
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