It all comes down to what you’re willing to say out loud. Which, one could argue, if you’re asking yourself this question it’s probably best left unsaid. You know?
However, never one to stay quiet, I did just post a video regarding The Ice Cream Situation. You can view it below.
So there’s that.
Do you ever feel like there’s so much going on you can’t really keep up and so you end up being less productive rather than the reverse simply because it all feels like too much? It’s all about balance, I think. That’s kind of what’s been going on around here lately. Nothing bad, all good things, but just a lot of things. So I’m scrambling, and feeling a bit like a hamster on a tread mill, moving quickly but not really getting anywhere. That’s how it feels anyway. I know this isn’t the truth, but it feels that way. Feelings are not facts. Hence the deep dive into The Ice Cream Situation. It’s okay, I’ve extricated myself and am now ready to face my never ending “To Do List”.
I’ve written about the To Do List before. It’s kind of an essential part of my day, a kind of road map to follow and then whatever doesn’t get done gets rolled over to the next day. Kind of like frequent flier miles or data storage on your phone, except there are no hidden costs. A win-win, right? Well, sort of, except that sometimes that to do list feels like an anchor so then one has to ignore it or make the decision that it’s a “to do tomorrow” list. But you can see where this leads, can’t you? Fortunately I don’t often procrastinate and my To Do list can be very bossy, but in a good way.
To Do List: email so and so.
Me: Right. I’ll do that in a few hours.
To Do List: follow up with a phone call.
Me: Yes, ok. I’ll do that in a few hours.
To Do List: Give it 24 hours then email again.
Me: Oh all right. I’ll send them an email now.
To Do List: Work out cost of thread kits
Me: Ugh.
To Do List: Work out cost of fabric kits
Me: Isn’t there anything on this list that is actually fun?
To Do List: Work on improv piece.
Me: Oh! I can do that!! That will be fun.
To Do List: Work on Abstraction piece.
Me: Oh, yes, another fun project. I’ll pull that out.
To Do List: Clear up sewing machine desk area.
Me: Right, now where is my improv piece?
To Do List: Website Issues – (and then a three page list of things that I need to learn, figure out or actually do)
Me: I love my improv piece. That’s what I’m going to work on.
And so it goes. I’ve found that if I put at least a few things on the list that I really, really love doing then I can usually start on that and then work in a few of the not so fun things in between. Kind of like when you’re hiking and get a blister and then keep going anyway because you know the view at the summit is going to be spectacular and you don’t want to miss it.
I was having coffee with a friend the other day when he began a sentence with, “What I’ve learned from the pandemic…” Now this is a dear friend who also became very, very ill when the pandemic hit New York City, so much so that there were a few nights when it didn’t seem likely he would pull through. This was before any of us realized just how bad it was going to be here in New York City. Before we realized that all of us would know at least a few people who barely survived and a few who did not. He is still not 100%.
What I’ve learned from the pandemic…
I’ll start with the easy ones.
Travel! My husband and I love traveling. So much so that when we first got together we talked about traveling the world with kids in tow, mind you this was before the reality of having actual children had hit us (Oh how young and foolish we were!) but we did fantasize a lot about the places we wanted to go and see. So in the next 6 months we have planned a couple big trips that we’ve been thinking about doing for years, but now are actually going to do.
I’m not a foodie. Actually that’s an understatement. I don’t care about that hot new restaurant that requires a 3 months in advance reservation. In fact I don’t care about eating out period. It turns out I can happily exist on a very boring diet of sameness for months and months at a time without ever varying it. The ice cream situation is a case in point. Did I tell you about the ice cream situation? No? It’s okay, I did a video about it that will be posting in another day or two. The same can be said about clothing. Comfort is everything at this point.
Masks. Here’s the thing about masks, I hate wearing them, I just have to say it, but I won’t be throwing them out any time soon. And while I’m at it I also hate wearing high heels, a bra and non stretchy clothing. In fact, underwear in general is annoying. However I do, on occasion, wear any and all of those things and even all at once. Okay, maybe not the high heels any more, but I am a woman of a certain age and I think that gives me the leeway to say, “No More!” Having said that, I would also like to take this moment to point out that I have not gotten sick, not even a cold, in over a year. That mask? Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’ll be putting that thing on again when I’m in the subway or massive crowds. And since I live in New York City the likelihood of finding myself in either of those situations is pretty good.
Germs are everywhere. This probably isn’t news to most of you, but I grew up in the country, making mud cakes, shoveling manure, picking berries and eating figs right off the tree. It was all considered very healthy and it was. Basically I’m one of the Beverly Hillbillies only moved to New York City. And now that I live in a thriving metropolis, washing fruit and vegetables is a given, along with my hands, to a degree that would make a germaphobe proud. Cities are basically massive petri dishes over flowing with germs eager to attack. Where did I put my mask? Did I mention the whole mask thing? Oh and also, hand sanitizer. Those are going right into my must-have-at-all-times along with some Kleenex, regardless of how many people get vaccinated.
Laughter. Any situation, no matter how awful, is better if I can find the humor in it. The Irish seem to have some sort of humor DNA that they’re born with, but as I don’t have Irish ancestry, just an Irish husband, which helps, but isn’t the same thing; mostly I’m left to my own devices on this one. Sometimes it’s hard and I have to dig deep, but that tiny kernel of humor is always there waiting to be discovered. Of course now, while I’m trying to think of something funny to say, I’m coming up empty. Humor’s like that. It creeps up and hits you in the face unexpectedly.
Family. This isn’t something I learned because of the pandemic, it’s more that the pandemic confirmed what I already knew. Family is everything.
Kindness. Again, not a big discovery moment because of the pandemic, but more a validation that when in doubt, kindness is the way to go. That and the art of not saying anything. This one is a big learning curve for me, but one of these days… Of course at that point, I’ll have to stop blogging and doing videos as well, because really, what else is there to say?
I did a major clean up of my work area because I’ve got a 2-day workshop beginning this afternoon, except that now I can’t find anything.
This happens more often than you might think. With the best of intentions I do a massive clean-up, methodically putting things away and then begin to work and can’t remember where I put things like my 6″ ruler or my chalk refills for my chalk pencil. So then I go on Amazon and purchase more.
By the time they arrive I’ve discovered where I put the other refills, the ones I spent at least an hour looking for and the whole reason why the I-need-to-do-a-major-clean-up idea seemed like a good one in the first place, and not only that, but realize I’ve got about ten more refills squirreled away in various places, like this little treasure trove. Who would have thought to look in there?! Seriously. And do you notice all the chalk pencils? They sell them as a 2-pack. Just saying. Obviously I’m not alone. These, the ones below in the photo? They’re the ones I carefully stowed away in this zippered pouch that I made last summer.
Here are the others, oh so carefully placed in this basket that I purchased from a lovely Senegalese man on the street here in New York City whose family makes them. (He doesn’t have a website, I asked.)
So now I have enough chalk refills to last a lifetime. Except that I’ve got them on “subscription” because they’re always breaking, which means I have to go on to Amazon and figure out the labyrinthian system by which they do those subscription orders and spend at least an hour trying to cancel the chalk refills. When finally I’ve figured it out and am about to hit the “cancel” button, another more ominous button comes up asking, “are you sure?”
What? No. How can I be sure? Who knows when I might lose them again and anyway they break so often. So then I decide at the very last minute that maybe I should just keep them, because you never know when they might come in handy and anyway I can’t be sure and that little button is asking me if I am, and now that I think about it, I’m not sure. I’m not sure at all, in fact I’m sure of very little these days.
Oh! And while I’m at it, it wouldn’t hurt to get another chalk pencil, because in this last cleanup I couldn’t find those either. And they do come in a 2-pack, how thoughtful, so… Let me purchase another one of those and I can even save a dollar by adding them to the subscription, except that’s silly because really how many chalk pencils can one reasonably use in a lifetime?
Evidently quite a few, if you’re me.
So there’s that.
Addendum: I resisted the urge to put the chalk pencils on subscription, though I did leave the refills on. I just thought you’d want to know.
So I shot a video yesterday because I was feeling a little down and wanted to try and jolt myself out of it. I also went to the gym, rode a bike for a half an hour and then decided it would be a great idea to sprint on the tread mill for a few minutes only to stop after just five because I thought I was going to either puke or faint, take your pick. I’m pretty sure this falls under the TMI category, even though it is an accurate description of what happened. In any case… I was feeling a little down or as I say in the video, I was in a funk.
And then I compared what I was feeling, to a petulant child or a very loud, bossy color, like red or magenta or turquoise blue, which can easily take over a project if you’re not careful. I call those colors divas. And here’s the thing, divas are great, especially in small doses. If you have too many divas all together they start fighting and that just never ends well. So anyway I talk about all of that and then I talk… well you can watch the video.
Except that after I shot the video, uploaded it and posted it, I thought – I hope no one thinks this is a commentary on depression or some of the really awful things people feel and go through. Because I wasn’t doing that. This was a comment on that feeling of having lower energy and just not feeling as I typically feel. I have experienced depression and this, feeling in a funk, doesn’t come close. So I just wanted to clarify that.
Okay.
Whether it was the exercise, talking about how I was feeling, getting a little stitching done on my improvisational stitching piece despite feeling a bit down or the fact that our next trip that we’ve been planning was looking like it might not happen, but then we did some more research and are thinking that maybe it will after all, or maybe it was a combination of all these things, who knows? Anyway the upside is that I’m feeling like myself again. You know, energetic and basically pretty upbeat. I also had a lovely afternoon with a dear old friend and took a little walk on the Highline. All of this taken together cheered me enormously.
Beginning – using linen with hand dyed linen from my oh so talented friend Pat Pauly
To sum up: Radical Self Care. I didn’t intend to embark on a day of radical self care, but that’s essentially what I ended up doing without meaning to. (However one could argue that sprinting to the point of vomiting or fainting does not fall under the category of self care, so there’s that.)
So what’s on for today? A little reading from Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations is in order and then, who knows?
The Dorset Button Workshop, which is for those who’ve never made a Dorset Button or do not feel entirely confident with making one yet, is this Saturday! There are still some spots available, so don’t hesitate in signing up as I will not be giving this workshop again. We have a lot of fun and I demonstrate and go over all the different places where you might run out of thread and how to attach a new thread, how to wrap the ring, how to center those spokes, how to make the center and then we veer off and add some other things and stitches to the traditional Dorset Button. By the end of the workshop everyone will have made at least a couple of them.
A Dorset Button with Beaded Drizzle Stitches
For those of you who’ve been following along with my husband and I, we are leaving for Las Vegas today and will be flying home tomorrow just in time for my Dorset Button Workshop. Don’t forget to sign up!! I will be sending out the link later and for those who sign up in the next 48 hours, I’ll send out the link no later than Saturday morning.
Traveling is an encapsulated version of life. I’ve always wanted to be one of those people that greeted each day with their arms wide open. Someone once said or maybe I read it somewhere, I can no longer remember – if you want to be a _____________ person, then act like that person. In order to be the kind of person who greets each day with open arms, then act like a person who does that. Which means a healthy dose of gratitude, being present, seeing the upside to each moment, having compassion and the ability to see the humor in almost any situation. And then making the decision that whatever is going on, is best faced with open arms. It’s a kind of practice really and, for me anyway, requires a degree of vigilance as well. Also laughter. Did I mention the laughter part?
This has been an amazing trip. We did push ourselves, but I wouldn’t have done it any differently. Okay maybe suggested to Richard that he wear socks when we did The Narrows, but honestly who knew to suggest that? Not me, anyway. I didn’t wear any socks and was just fine, so…
After a bumpy beginning we are now in full travel mode as in we-have-to-cram-as-much-as-we-can-into-each-day-or-we-might-miss-something. This is how R and I travel. We are the same in this way and as a result we travel really well together. Even when things go awry, and they almost always do, we still keep going, joyfully, yet determined. We are very determined. However we have been forced to slow down quite a bit because of the lacerations on R’s feet brought about on our 3rd day slogging over slippery rocks in the river bed that makes up The Narrows. If any of you are travel bugs and want to see a day to day video travelogue of our adventures, I made up a playlist on my Youtube Channel, A Travelogue, but will add the videos below.
Day 1: Getting to our destination. Spoiler alert – it was a rough beginning.
Day 2: Discovering the unexpected, and the reason we love traveling.
Day 3: A great adventure!
Day 4: Exploring and taking it easy, which for us means we still pack a LOT into the day!
Day 5: Slot Canyons and a small detour.
Day 6: More detours, kittens, yes I just said that, and getting back to our base. Video will be posted tomorrow morning.
Day 7: taking it easy, ie recalibrating. That’s today. Who knows what today will bring!?
The whole thing about traveling, in my experience, is that the most wonderful things happen when I’m able to be open to them, whether that’s meeting interesting people along the way, finding little caves to explore, the glorious feeling of seeing a vivid blue/green striation amidst grey beige rock, the massive and majestic rock formations that are everywhere you look in this part of the world, that vivid pink flower on a cactus in an otherwise arid landscape, the list goes on and on.
Inevitably unexpected things happen that force us to change our plans. When we went to Iceland, it was my shattered elbow. We didn’t let it stop us, but we did have to recalibrate a bit. On this trip it’s R’s lacerated feet. We’re having to slow down and not do quite as much as we had planned. In the end we come face to face with our own frailties and mortality as human beings. This feeling is what drove us to take this trip now and not wait any longer. We aren’t that old, but we’re not that young either. We figure we have so many places we still want to see on this planet of ours, we’d better take the opportunity to do as much as we can, while we still can.
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